13.8.11

A sleepless night

When the under belly ached with a red spout , with a pang of hunger ,and a fiery crackle of a spring, waiting to pounce out and spurt through all pores that it could find, wakes you up and refuses to let you fall asleep. reminding you that much needs to be done.

to Dance madly and forget the day is done swaying between the cold blades, edges, straight lines and blazing loose lost , amorphous unruly ball of fire. octagons octets and rhyme scheme to reveal the underlying code of  language, a rhythm.

Please let the night pass to give me sound sleep only to wake up with full energy, and with the same indictment with which i was rudely thrown up from within and made to record these pangs of incessant thought flows, streams and wishes. Give me the energy and direction to realise these indistinguishable tied up, rolled up wishes to live. Am i yet to see the melodic beauty of the intermittent beat. the projectile calculating non misfiring bullet dodging fast paced dance routine.

Lend me the ability to take myself and my loved ones away into a mystical land. where the daily bread doesnt plague ones head. where travel is seamless and not the most calculated. i am not asking for an easy land. i am not asking for an escape, but a sense of being where one can truly confront the present moment in the framework of this plane of reality, and not lament about the next hour which takes shape by the sacrifices we make in this moment, and the moment that just passed by and the one that is to follow just next. Show me what it means to have the presence of mind, to fully receive and radiate all the energy that surrounds you. A compass to take you closer to the sun.

Does that point towards the celebration that is waiting somewhere, that we would eventually like to join.Galloping behind and cutting through the lagging blurry fast sharp jumps trails in space and time. The Ultimate distraction, detracting flow of stitched inconsequential events that seems to be the celebration that is waiting somewhere, that we would eventually like to join.

Unless, unless all that it really takes is to pause meditate and fully comprehend each breath, not with the strain of a concentrated point curdling on ones forehead but with the ease of a light expanding buoyant soul.
Does that threaten the expected sharpness and grasp of forces?
Does that threaten survival ?
Does it make you defenseless too kind, too naive, a bit too forgiving, and not vicious enough to ward through the populated thickets and pin the flag on some hill top in that virtual landscape of merits? or will it let you levitate though a tunnel through an unchartered cloud away from hill tops and landscapes ?

What could possibly cease all doubts? Not the curious inquiries, but the unsettling drift and waves in search for the right tone and pulse

Where one could be confronting and jumping into the moment with no pause, no daunting awareness from a third person, with inexhaustible continuous energy . perennially relishing the moment and sparking out joy for no selfish reason, imparting peace,wisdom, a lightness of being, a reminder of reality and a moment of beauty. all at the same time and again.

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